When Planned Parenthood offers workshops on talking to teens about sexuality, parents tell us that broaching this sensitive topic is one of the toughest parts of raising children. Let’s face it, it can be a little uncomfortable talking to your kids about sex.
Parents ask us about the best time to have “the talk.” They wonder what to do if their child asks a question they can’t (or don’t want to) answer. And parents worry that having an open dialogue might send the message that they’re okay with teens having sex.
Planned Parenthood has the answers to these questions. First, talking to your children does not green light sexual activity. In fact, the opposite is true. In a recent poll, 88% of youth said it would be easier to postpone sexual activity and pregnancy if they were more able to have open, honest conversations about these topics with their parents.
There’s more good news. Forget the dreaded image of sitting down with your child to have “the talk.” The parent-teen conversation isn’t one discussion of the “birds and the bees,” it is a lifelong, age-appropriate dialogue. Your first chat can be a quick one while driving to soccer practice. You can bring up a situation you read about in “Dear Abby” or a novel. Or you may address an issue in a TV show during the commercial break.
Parent should be truthful and “askable,” but that doesn’t mean you have to provide information you’re not comfortable with. You can simply tell your child that you feel the topic would be best addressed when he or she is older. Just as children are not prepared to tackle calculus in grade school, they’re also not ready to learn everything about sex in middle school.
You have a partner in Planned Parenthood. We have been in the San Diego community for almost 50 years, providing abstinence-based education programs at community groups and faith organizations. Many of our programs are geared toward parents who want to become “askable,” but have no idea how to start.
As we celebrate “Let’s Talk Month,” a nationwide public education campaign aimed at fostering family communication, we’d like to invite you use Planned Parenthood as a resource. We offer free pamphlets like “Sexual Responsibility: Talking With Your Teen” and “Sex: Talking With Your Child.” Additionally, we offer community workshops that help you begin a dialog which reflects your family’s values. We’ve also been invited to “house parties,” where groups of friends gather for a private workshop on talking to kids about sexuality.
There is no one way to approach talking to your children about sexuality. The most important thing is that your kids know that you are “askable.” The more they talk to you, the less likely they will be to engage in risky sexual behavior. The first few conversations might be a bit awkward, but your children’s health is worth it. Ask Planned Parenthood how you can be a more “askable” parent. You’ll be glad you did.
www.planned.org for more information about becoming an “askable” parent.
