Your faithful Mexican is putting the final touches to his coming magnum opus, Taco USA: How Mexican Food Conquered America (out April 2012) and is thus at the rancho, getting handmade tortillas made by his chica in pigtails while I work on rewrites. But instead of a Best Of columna, I’ve decided to print excerpts from one of my all-time favorite reader interactions. Remember back in 2007, when I asked ustedes who are half-Mexican and half-something else to tell us what you call yourselves? The brilliant, hilarious responses offered show how genius the Mexi brain truly is. Space doesn’t allow your local rag to print all the responses, but below are just some of the best. You can find the full list online—in the meanwhile, enjoy and see you in una semana!

    Dear Readers: I asked half-breeds a couple of weeks ago to write in with nicknames that describe their mixed Mexican heritage. Many, muchos responses continue to trickle in—gracias for the submissions. Following is a handy glossary thatustedeswrote, with the occasional Mexican commentary—enjoy!

    If you’re half-Mexican and. . .

    Half-African: Afrijoles.

    Half-anything: Inbetweener-beaner

    Half-Arab:Garbanzo beaner, America’s worst nightmare.

    Half-Armenian:Armexian.

    Half-Australian: Aussican, Dingoles (say like frijoles), Fosters Especial, Mexi-roo, Ortegamite, Wallican.

    Half-Black:Black beans, Blaxican, Bro-Vato, Choco-Taco, Choligger, Mack, Mexiblack, Mexicoon, Negrexican, Tino Noir, Watermexican, Wetblack.

    Half-British: Limey beans

    Half-Cajun: Bayou Beaner, Mexi-Gumbo, Mexicajun, Red Beans & Rice.

    Half-Canadian: Canexican.

    Half-Caribbean: Carribeaner

    Half-Chinese: Chexican, Chinacan, Chinkano, Combination Plate, Mexinese, rice ‘n’ beans, soy bean.

    Half-Costa Rican: Mextica (“tico” is a nickname for Costa Ricans).

    Half-Creole:Creolican

    Half-Croatian:Cro-Mex.

    Half-Czech:Czecano, Czex-Mex, Czexican, Mexislovakian.

    Half-Eskimo: Mexkimo

    Half-Gabacho: Amerilanga (combination of American and chilanga, nickname for someone from Mexico City), Caucano, Chicangüera, Gabaxicano, GMC (Gringo-Mexico cross), Güerexican, Latinglo, Mexiglos, Mixican, Pochingo (half-pocho, half-gringo), Whispanic, white bean.

    Half-German: Beanerschnitzel, chili kraut, Germexican, wiener beaner.

    Half-Honky:Chichonky.

    Half-Irish:Celtic Aztec, green bean, Irlandicanos, Leprecano, McBeaner, McSpic, Mick Spic, O’Beaner, Paddy-Mex.

    Half-Italian: Mexican pizza, Mexitalian, Spicawop, Spic-talian, Wopsican.

    Half-White:Honky-Tonk, Gringateca, Mejiyanqui, Mexi-melts, Whics

    One guy calls his kids a mick-mock-mex: quarter-Irish, quarter-Jewish (“mock” was apparently a Jewish epithet) and half-Mexican. Someone who is part-Mexican, -Italian and -Polish calls themselves a Mexpotalian.

    Other Latinos also joined the game. A half-Spanish, half-American called himself “spam,” a Cuban Jew goes by Jewban, while a Peruvian from Minnesota describes herself as a Minneruvian. Meanwhile, a Puerto Rican from New York insisted thatdominicanos were half-Dominican, half-anus (ano is “anus” in Spanish). And a half-Indian, half-Jew wrote in at the last moment with his moniker: Gandhistein. But the final, wisest word goes to a full-bloodedgabacho:

    How about an American, like all of us mutts?

    Don’t see your nickname? E-mail me, and I’ll include it.

For a complete list of nicknames visit: http://www.ocweekly.com/2007-09-20/columns/ask-a-mexican

Ask the Mexican at themexican@askamexican.net, be his fan on Facebook, follow him on Twitter or ask him a video question at youtube.com/askamexicano!