My name is Mary Ignatius, and I am the statewide organizer of Parent Voices, a parent-led, parent-run grassroots organization fighting to make quality child care accessible and affordable for all families. I am a parent of a 5-year-old and 9-month-old and as an activist for work family issues.

As we approach the 10-year anniversary of the Paid Family Leave (PFL) program in California, I have to acknowledge a few organizations: the Labor Project for Working Families, the California Child Care Resource and Referral network and Parent Voices because little did I know that these organizations would work to pass this law and that I would someday benefit from. Twice!

Taking care of a new born is challenging enough. Add on any additional challenges, and it could put any mother over the edge. I want to share my story because I believe there is no such thing as work-life balance. I believe our lives are out of balance because of the nature of work today. We are connected and living online like never before. We are checking email around the clock.

And the only way we can shift the imbalance we are facing in our lives is to advocate for policies that support women to not have a balance between life and work – but to tip the balance so that it weighs more heavily on the life side. I believe that in order for working families to thrive we need at least three ingredients: 1) paid maternity and sick leave 2) access to quality affordable child care 3) fair wages.

In 2009, I had my first son, Noah. That was the first time I was afforded the right to take Paid Family Leave. As a first-time parent, oh my. It’s quite difficult to summarize the crazy roller coaster that is first-time parenthood. There is so much that you see on TV imagining what motherhood will be like. Then, there’s reality.

The biggest challenge I faced was actually breastfeeding. I never heard or knew just how challenging it was, and it was because I had PFL that I had the time and opportunity to seek out resources to help me break through those challenges. I was able to go on to nurse and pump for six months which I probably would have gave up on had I not had PFL.

Fast forward four years, and enough time had passed to decide we should go again. Everything was going well until I got a call after my 20-week appointment. I got a call from the genetics counselor who informed me that the baby had a strong chance of having bilateral club feet.

I got the call while I was standing in line with my then 3-year-old waiting for ice cream. For any mother, any parent, all you want to hear is that your baby is perfect. But there I was outside of Bi-Rite ice cream, trying to Google everything I could about club feet. I spent the next five months learning everything I could about club feet. Then, my precious little baby was born.

His feet were curved in. He looked like a little pretzel. Today, I can say to you, it wasn’t too bad. But I can say that to you because I had Paid Family Leave. I was able to access a program that enabled me to be financially secure which gave me the peace of mind to be there for my baby.

From the time he was 10 days old, he went in weekly to get casts from toes to thigh. After five weeks he had an outpatient ankle procedure, casts for three more weeks, until eventually he was fitted for braces which at this point he will wear at night for the next three to four years.

The most difficult and challenging period of his treatment took place from weeks two to 10 weeks. These were the weeks I used PFL. I didn’t have to worry about anything but him. My focus, my attention, my energy could stay on him and I didn’t have to worry about work deadlines, work projects – really anything. I could just focus on being his mom, getting the treatment he needed.

When I think about the mothers in Texas, Iowa, Florida and other places where paid maternity leave doesn’t exist, my heart breaks. If I had to go back to work at the six-week mark, I would have crumbled. I would have been a walking disaster at home and at work.

Whether you have an infant with special needs, a perfectly healthy newborn, you want to bond with an adoptive child, or you need to care for a sick relative, Paid Family Leave affords us the right to care for our family members in their most vulnerable time.

Luckily, I was able to supplement the other 45 percent of my salary with sick and vacation leave so that I didn’t have to forgo my pay for the 12 weeks. So, in addition to paid sick and maternity leave, working families depend on access to quality affordable child care. The only way to return to work and with any peace of mind is knowing your child is with someone you trust – that they are safe and learning while you are working.

But for far too many families, access to affordable child care is out reach. With my work with Parent Voices, I see too many working mothers who don’t have child care assistance, scrambling each night to identify someone to watch their kids the next day. It is stressful. It is filled with anxiety. The worry never goes away.

Lastly, the other job support working families depend on is that of fair wages with benefits. Today, working families are working harder than ever, more hours than ever. Yet their pay is so low, they still qualify for public assistance programs.

We have become so complacent that we accept the term “working poor.” But in reality, no one should work 40 hours a week and still be poor. I see all of our members who are working two to three jobs. Their shifts are unpredictable from week to week. They are working nights, weekends, around the clock because that’s the only work they can find.

Often times, we hear that low-income parents need training on how to manage time or that they lack a strong work ethic. Guess what, it’s not true. These families could earn doctorate degrees in time management. They juggle multiple responsibilities. They don’t need a class. They need higher wages.

So that’s what I believe. In order for us to tip the balance so that we live better with less stress and more stability, so that we can both be present parents and reliable employees, working families need paid maternity and sick leave, access to quality affordable child care, and fairer wages.