The recent findings of Junior Seau’s brain study didn’t really come as a shock to anyone, in hindsight that is.

I have been close friends with Junior for twenty five years. He and I were roommates at the Chargers for six years. He was the best man at my wedding. Sadly as life does we had drifted somewhat apart over the last two years of his life. At the time, I guess, I justified it as Junior has changed he isn’t the old Junior I used to know. The truth was he had changed, for reasons that seem so clear now but were impossible to fathom back then.

Junior was probably the most personable person I have ever met; I guess that is what made his suicide so disturbing to the people that knew him. The vision of him alone in his bedroom with a gun in his hand or the disturbing portrait the Union Tribune painted of his final months. It was always difficult to ever know anything about what bothered Junior, this was a man who in six years I never saw him limp, complain, or show any glimpse of weakness. Junior was so adamant about not showing weakness that he had a full medical triage built at his home to deal with his perceived physical injuries so he would not have to get treatment in front of teammates, or as he thought “show weakness.”

Interestingly this mindset is great for a combat sport like football but not so conducive to family or intra personal relationships.

I watched a documentary on Vince Lombardi this past week on HBO and was amazed at the number of former players that broke down into tears when talking about him forty years after his death, yet when his own children were interviewed they were indifferent at best. I was immediately connected back to Junior. How is it that I could be so upset and his own children not? Well simply put Junior like Vince Lombardi was a great friend, a great player, but not a great dad. I can relate to that, I cried more than once over the thought of Junior alone in that room but never shed a tear over my own father’s death earlier this year.

For whatever reason I refused to do any interviews after Junior took his own life or go to any celebrations of his life events. I read where others were interviewed that didn’t even know Junior and I watched some spectacles over publicity by people that wanted attention by being close to Junior first in life and now through his death.

The big deal in the NFL now is obviously the playoffs but not too far below the surface is the concussion/CTE lawsuit. Close to 4,000 former players are suing the NFL as well as helmet maker Riddell in connection with covering up known risks of repetitive head trauma in the NFL.

I had resisted joining this lawsuit for over a year mainly based on the notion that injuries come with the territory. Skiers or snowboarders can’t really expect to file a lawsuit against snow or the mountain, you just assume the risk and if you perceive the risk /reward ratio too great you find other outlets less dangerous.

I did finally join that lawsuit last week; I guess partially out of respect for Junior and partially out of respect for my own two boys ages seven and nine whom I still have not allowed to play contact football.

The positive from all this is the new found concussion awareness. Junior played 20 years and never had a diagnosed concussion? I started four years at the University of Pittsburgh and seven years as an every down starter in the NFL and was never diagnosed with a concussion, in fact I never saw anyone diagnosed with a concussion in my entire career. In the good old days it was getting your bell rung and if you even thought about missing a down you were ostracized by coaches and teammates. That mindset has changed and if nothing else we can always point to some positive coming from all of this.